What is happiness??

Believe me or not it was such a great pleasure when I choose about this topic, it grew even more while I start to write. I have never in my life stood by this topic I was always against this principle of ‘happiness’ so I feel like I am opening a Pandora box, it make me feel all the more interesting.

How do I start, I was gazing at myself against the mirror last evening and i looked back on my vibes and virtues, phew I dig deep I was not even close to the word happiness. May be it is just not me many more of us fall in the same pit so I thought I can make this write up -

I was working for a reputed firm; trust me at the fag end of my college days it was one of my ‘dream’ company two years after I join the company, I cribbed about for the lack of onsite opportunity, lack of motivation and what not…all these while I get a decent pay and in the middle of best work ethics company. We dwell ourselves in sorrow and feel for outside things rather than on focusing what is on hand, such ‘Blind Spots’ sunken us and make us think ‘I can be happy ONLY if I get that something …’

For few of us America is the synonym for happiness, such people do postpone/hide their happiness until they get their VISA, true in the melee they tend to forget the present happiness and focus too much on the future…people like me who suffer from the ‘Blind Spot’ syndrome doesn’t feel happy even when they get their VISA, it is like I can be happy only when I get my job, ok you got our job, now the H1 Visa transfer will haunt and dread you, then you feel for the so called coveted GC and you long for it. It doesn’t end there, all of a sudden you feel ‘Life in America is insipid and happiness does prevail only in India’ the search for happiness never ends…

Say for the last couple of years barring the month of Oct, 2007 I have always land myself in the middle of ‘Blind Spots’. In the space of an hour (long look in front of the mirror) I come up ‘Happiness is the Lock, Wisdom is the key it is up to us to turn which way we want’

I am happpyyyyyy today i turned the right way :)

Disgrace on me

Alas!! After a long time i am blogging again, though this time i am more sombre and disgusted nobody to blame than me. When i look back now the last 6 months prove to be my nemesis rather i am the nemesis of myself, i had such a strong feeling on "why i was born on this earth?".

I got the feeling because of my inherent behaviour of which i am imparting bad sentiments on my close ones i am more pained "why does somebody else need to go thru the emotions when it is no fault of theirs and how many times i would have done this - countless".

To be honest i am in the middle of my "dream life"-to live close with the 3 of my pentabulous, i am priveleged. Yet, the agony and the frustration of not being able to cherish these moments hit hard on me. I could not able to render any good to them, i am insipid, i am insane. I got innumerous sessions of care advice - soft, tender, polite, patience, hard what more could i expect, yet i am completely passive. If i were to die today i will take it atleast i can spare them once for all but such a disgrace on me for being selfish. I did ponder on my behaviour

1.Emotion
2.Emotion
3.Emotion
4.Unconditional compromise
5.Fear of losing
6.Lack of head & self-control
7.Unbalanced thoughts

I feel really tough.

Ennoda kirukaaal

This is an old writting of mine, thot of making it to the blog!

Though I speak to the wind
and gaze upon the stars
These days I wish to hold
your gentle hand and walk all along the streets of market like those days

Never ever to forsake me
not even in the bleakness of the night
Yet,always reach for me
Ohhh lord, how do i reciprocate her

Because of her I am a better,
happier person
And that she has grown as a person too,
because of me

I wish to know
of the emptiness
I have left in your heart
as you have left in mine

Blood that is your blood,running through my veins
different hopes,but our differences are what makes us the same.
She would give me anything in her power - time, money, work, possessions, encouragements, sympathy
And that she knows I would be as quick to respond
to whatever her needs might be

I, Bless and keep her, this person who fashioned
and filled with qualities that have meant so much to me
Lord thank you for the very special gift - My Mother.

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I have this very wonderful Twin beauties,
and I would like to thank them with all my heart,
I thank the lord,
for creating them and letting them enrich my life.

I have this very thoughtful Twin Beauties
and i wold like to thank them for all the yeaRs we've known each other
and the confidences and hopEs and trouBles that we'Ve Shared
God,this twins yoU fashioned and filled with qualities that have meant so much to me.

Cheers,
Vijay

Ode to my Family...

I am very passionate to write on this topic, as this turned out to be something which is straight out of my heart.It always rekindles me when at sleep,at bath, at walk, at work and more importantly on those solitary times where in i reap the solidarity of those prized possessions of mine. I am gifted by the god of grace and love to have those pentabulous 5! The few who turned the life out of me.

They are the few who turned,corned, lifted, wheeled, oowed & cajoled me at the every instep that i make, and in response i awed, gasped, inspired, wondered at their startling imaginations, intellectual resources, perpetual care and those inherited myths.

My parents were those 2/5, together in thier brilliance, phantasmagoric saga watched me go through the pangs of birth, tantrums of childhood/manhood and adumbrated me in all aspects of my life. My mom cant scale her heights, mere words cant describe my emotions and feeling for her, single handedly she has woven dreams into reality, mystery into magic and truth into fantasy. On the contrary dad, someone who is nonchalant, malicious in acts, seemingly stubborn, hardliner yet he resurrected himself out of that hole and made lasting impressions on me for his wrong deeds, which i make sure i never & ever commit the same. An interesting character to me and that made him to find a place in my list.

He the one who always worked with zavalier confidence and has a distinct character. It is under his visionary eyes my dreams acquired new meaning, a paradigmatic shift.He was clearly tired of the frugality of my parent's life, stood high with head clear and brought a new dimension to the way we live.He is a do-gooding avenger extraordinaire, coloniser of collective imagination, to me he is a mythic alter ego and transcends the balm of an all new generation within ourself. Mind you he is not a prodigal son, a mere mortal, true iconoclasts none other than my second brother praki!

The virtues were many all buit around the principles of solidity. Rigour,caution,credibility,conservatism,the willingness to spend on & on & on for the loved ones, generous on friends,high polish,sharp witted and a wonderful air of superiority.He isnt the guy who would roll over and die at first sign of a challenge, nor he would wanted to fight on its own turf.He roars, the king of deeds, he the LEO! The ever adorable Subbu!

She is s'one who is capable of dazzling moves & pirouettes of the imagination.Making dancing forays off the beaten path, sing not trumpet,be of light foot, light of foot, light of foot.She does play with ideas, play with pictures,play with design. Give her loved ones the courage, giving them the space & speaking up for them. Mend and tinker your dents with it at your own peril, by not stentorian but sonorous. Not doctrinaire but disputations. Not patronising but pleasing. Oh yeah the Jesus of our times! the ever inquisitive revs!

I always share a quixotic relationship with them and i find a all new world in them,
ever indebted for all the hi-5's!

I keep saying to myself
What is the point of all kinds of happiness if in the end, you don't get to celebrate your success with people you care about?

Just wanted to say a quick thank you to those of y...
What is the point of all kinds of Satisfaction if not for y...
Time on my hands could be time spent with y..
I am the happy recipient of happy life gifted by y...
If only I don't bend and break
From the top of my first page
What good karma did I ever do?

Love,
-Vijay

Sachin - THE God of Cricket

It always fascinates me on how to describe this super natural bomber from Bombay,The mahavishnu of the cricketing fraternity.

Yet this GOD, nursing his injuries and needs all the prayers to be back on the cricketing field armour with the same aroma,austere and the exquisitiveness.

There is a say "Much before Sachin commences strapping on his armour, a nation begins to prepare. Across the dispirited homes and listless offices, a strange frisson starts to course. The frisson has a hormonal edge, a near sexual charge. In pulsating minutes a sublime duet will be set in motion, it will play between the puissant boy-emperor and his loyal subjects" Oh what a feeling, longing/dreaming for this day.

To me Sachin is - An intellect confounded yet his growing sense of presence and of ultimate purpose. Get back well soon!